Because you will not criticize !Why do not kids listen? Because you will not criticize! This is a space where users an article in yesterday after reading it, immediately go to my space! This is a very good article worth reading, specifically to teachers, parents recommend ... ...
Why criticism No matter
----- Child made a mistake, God will forgive. The reason why parents can not forgive the total child, probably because far from God now!
Everyone makes mistakes, but unfortunately in reality, only the child made a mistake may be more susceptible to criticism.
Why?
Because children often make mistakes? Not!
Because small children do not understand, easy to make mistakes? Not!
Because our parents eyes always follow the child's presence. Yes ah! Basically, all the children's behavior can not escape the grasp of their parents. Accidentally fell down on the ground, the mother would say: things, there will be a voice said: Like a storm of criticism, mind I felt unhappy, can not any way! Only had to silently suffer in silence, for the brave few might top the mouth, but this will provoke derided, it might be sobbing about pity. Oh! Instrument allows more incredible, the parents will yelled Why do you always keep criticism from morning to night? Why would the same issues are often criticized? Is it because kids do not listen? Naive? Problems too?
Have you ever wondered: Why No matter your criticism?
Some people lament, life is difficult! More difficult for a woman to do! I think you definitely want to say now, the mother is more difficult Leia!
Every day I subscribe to the janitor's room to pick up magazines and newspapers. There is an old lady on duty who, after her granddaughter from school also come here often. One day, I routinely pick up the newspaper, go after the little girl is seen lying on the table doing their homework, while the old lady are lessons to her granddaughter: rewrite, that have to rewrite! The little girl tightly ineffectively lips, tears in the eyes but also quietly, reluctantly wipe just wrote the words. I looked at the ground before the curious, the original work is the kind of vocabulary practice, asked to write each word many times, but the vocabulary words written on rice Gerry, see, this little girl just go to school soon. Some good words to write some words written on the really rather ugly, is not tilted in the m word Gerry hung, or simply put I thought to myself, written so that it is no wonder, just started it! My old lady Jiaoshu, even her little granddaughter's name I know, called Yingge.
So I said: I said: Little girl seems to still unhappy, the muffled crashed, said: I picked up her exercise books, said: The girl seems to look to the spirit, then stretched her head together and I see the book.
I then asked again: Girl quickly glanced quickly with tender fingers hold one of the words.
I saw that word really is good, then asked again: I asked a prolonged sound, not so put it all finished, the little girl away from me quickly this job to a badly written one word quickly erased.
I nodded approval say: Forced girl nodded, quickly write this on a word, is that it is full, the indomitable spirit of good character.
I patted her head and said: The old lady said in surprise: As the saying goes, Criticism as a means of education, the purpose is to allow children to know the cause of the error, later to avoid or correct.
But in fact, many parents have such an experience, and children take to say that reason does not work, criticism is not effective, anxious and beat still does not work, how to do the effect is not good! Anyway, is this: say no to listen to, scolded useless! And beat, a burst pipe!
Now is the time for parents to think about. Children make mistakes, and in the end how pipe? How to educate children? Wrong on the criticism of it?
1, useless criticism
Let us look at the criticism of the child when the parents of several phenomena and characteristics.
(1) criticism of emotional
Once the fault occurs when a child, parents usually manifested by emotional, pale, dancing, recited, eyes straight, high-decibel sound, language, speed, while storms, described as hearty! Well, finished, Ma Wan, and my heart is happy, and also the balance. And you may not know, growing up headed waste of breath, when most of the calculation of the child mind is: suddenly stopped and asked: perfunctory so happy just to an early end to the storm. If you have the camera, then the parents look at their facial expressions and manifestations, really can be said to bear witness ah!
The child told you can recite it down more often than not, that is, do not know what you said. Only know one thing: I was wrong, so you call me! Even the error caused by guilt, anxiety along with the roar of criticism vanished. Because they understand that, Ma Wan,
Christian Louboutin Ankle Boots, the general also all right! Children and interested only thing to do is wait, wait Zhefan blame the end! The end result is You can expect more of this emotional catharsis with a personal, subjective criticism much? In fact,
moncler sale, many times, silence is more effective than such criticism.
Criticism is intended to allow the children to recognize their problems, understand and accept the right advice and action to correct. As a fault analysis and evaluation should be very rational. In this process, the inevitable point of temper, can accept the point of resentment, a sense of proportion to vent on any errors.
Just think, how to win such a feeling of respect for the child, how to convince their children, how children can listen to it?
(2) criticized the proliferation of
Sometimes, our parents criticizing their children, the sound impassioned, speed fast, the brain active, thinking, jump, think rich, and labeling. For example, originally a hit for a bowl of something, you can remember things from the past lost keys, losing money, losing face (because test test smashed), but also side-tracked fighting, watching TV, playing games. In short, as long as you can think of to do the same lens as the film playback. Turns out, informative, citing direct say over the pages of children eyelids, mouth of a write, twist the neck, head and one low, I thought: Yam Yam you love it! Not too thirsty? Humph!
Critics have focused on current problems what to say, matter-like, and must not be blamed for the fault, and it gets past the old accounts also be counted. This kind of People laugh is often the parents stopped talking, and how? The original is all of a sudden forget what to say! Had self-mockery, said: Just imagine, this makes the child hates how they stray from the topic of criticism may help solve the problem?
(3) criticism of simplistic
In many cases, children make mistakes, parents are often the criticism of the performance time is not criticism, criticism should not be criticized when the chaos. Many parents have experienced the phenomenon of child stay in bed, often the side of the press, while chatter, and the child has this as the background noise. Did not play a critical role. Because the child is very clear that,
gianmarco lorenzi crystal platform pumps, if late, then learn to walk on, the parents must be a way to get children to school on time, you can send a car, no car can be a taxi ah.
Had a parent ask me how to do this? I said very simple, you whether he would be finished, there will be late for school criticized him naturally. Is because there are various ways you can not let him be late, is to bear the consequences of a shield the child stay in bed, so he have the confidence to calmly stay in bed, you call him what purpose?
As such in many situations, is that parents do only criticism of the phenomenon, but did not take practical and effective solutions.
(4) impatience of criticism
There are many cases like this, kids will not even realize that an error or has arrived, can not be acutely aware of the error can bring and what the consequences of our parents have been eager, gas is not one to play, usually the eyes, mouth, or even hands to.
Furthermore, People make mistakes is normal, but the first time through, when something wrong is normal! However, parents did not give children enough time and space to experience errors, try to setbacks, the children do not even know where they went, criticism and blame has been followed. This anxious for quick success and impetuosity of the criticism, often stifle children's creativity, limiting the child's development.
Why do many children lack interest in learning it? Is because parents in the learning activities premature interference, too much intervention, frequent interventions, trivial to judge, inexplicable criticism, leading to the child to learn a fear, boredom and reverse psychology.
2, criticism when
When children make mistakes the first time, you only need to tell him why he was wrong, how to do is right on the line. In the guide, when the child can maintain a respectful manner so that he can respect your opinion, let him explain patiently and carefully to understand the causes and consequences of error, understanding emotions so that he will not be the shadow of failure constraints.
If the child committed a similar error again, perhaps not very familiar with the child the right way, maybe not deep enough to let him ignore the lesson. We should first analyze the causes of his, if the former case, we must make it clear, things that to understand, give him a chance to do; if the latter is the case, it should be appropriate for him to do the criticism.
3, what should be criticized
Or contact the child start new things, because of do not know, lack of preparation, behavior is not reasonable, out of bias and error is also reasonable. This time the need is help, not criticism!
The first mistake is understandable, the second mistake you can understand, then it can not tolerate the wrong. Criticism at this time is reasonable! I like the word, So critical is for attitude, not for things themselves; criticism for repeated and repeated, and error correction to give the child the first opportunity. But our parents are often reflected in the criticism when the culprit, it makes the child feel wronged!
When the error appears again and the problem, such as do not get it back after a perfect report card, parents are not together with their children calmly analyze the reasons, more blame is the performance itself, for the children to vent their discontent, and this blind The criticism is very beneficial to children to accept and correct.
4, how to criticize
Let's take an actual case to illustrate, there is a middle school boy is very fond of playing video games, often skipping, this is affecting their homework, parents are anxious, then how to do it?
(1) reasons to say the culprit
Although academic performance the child can, but relatively poor self-control, lack of predictable consequences, so there may be time ran out to play the game wanted. When this happens, parents should be patient and explain the consequences of doing, but also to express the child's trust and expectations. Is important to understand this approach children what inappropriate! And must not be angry, easily beaten! John Locke said, (2) agreed to repeat
But then this child can go out and play the game experience opportunities, and succumbed to temptation, they steal ran out to play the game. Parents should tell him to do so severely is not enough. He appeared again in view of such an error, it is necessary and children agreed to a program, and asked the children as a guarantee, and said that if the offense, he will accept any kind of punishment. Of course, is mutually acceptable solution. The same must not be angry, easily beaten!
Here I would like to note, the children more than adults about In such a trust and respect, the child is difficult to repeat, even want to play, and parents will be greeted in advance.
(3) to punish recidivism
Of course children after all, he made a mistake.
However, parents have two options, one to remain silent and let him know you already know what happened, and told him to take you to retain the right to punish, but do not intend to implement. Or under contract, so that children Jiannuo,
Christian Louboutin Evening, accept the punishment, and once again let him say if the offense, how should he do! The same must not be angry, easily beaten!
Through the above approach, where the nerve and then the children make mistakes! Of course, I have talked a lot with this boy, learned that his parents did not let him play, so I have to do with his parents, a consultation is at a fixed time each week to allow him to play the game, in the course of implementation of specific , the situation has been repeated, but not long afterwards, the child is no longer truancy, and even within the specified time of the game is to play less. Later, the students told me that he had to play the game not only because of pleasure, but also his family to the gas gas!
In the foreword, I talked to the children because the parents more errors caused by improper enlightenment. Because of mistakes and failures, the child has been punished, have felt the pain and misfortune, and parents do not find their own reasons, how the children have the nerve to get angry? It is a problem, parents of response and performance is very important, if more subjective desire to blame, emotional control, anger and abuse, it is very rude and incompetent, is the lack of manners, lack of understanding, lack of trust, lack of education capacity performance, this approach will only make the child look down.
So-called critics, or to dialogue and exchange-based, but more emphasis on the wrong thoughts and actions of thinking and checking, in order to solve problems and avoid mistakes from happening again, criticism is a dialogue with conventions and requirements.
When the child made a mistake, the parents should first ask yourself what's wrong! What they have done enough? I often advise parents, and children can first say There are many parents listen to my advice, then tell me that when the children say All unhappiness and alienation are also these tears wash out.
As long as parents put it reasonable, then the child does not want to listen to your words it is difficult -
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