Some funnies

[Halfloaf]

>Subject: Winter blonde
>
>
>
>       As a lorry driver in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde in her
>car
>       pulls up alongside. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his lorry,
>and
>       knocks on the door.
>
>       The driver lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is
>       Sharon and you are losing some of your load."
>
>       The lorry driver ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the
>       truck stops for another red light, the girl again  catches up She
>jumps
>       out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the lorry
>driver lowers
>       the window.
>
>       As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name
>is
>       Sharon, and you are losing some of your load!"
>
>       Shaking his head, the lorry driver ignores her again and continues
>down
>       the street.
>
>       At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of
>breath,
>       the blonde gets out of her car, runs up,  knocks on the cab door.
>
>       The lorry driver lowers the window.
>
>       Again she says "Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of
>your
>       load!"
>
>       When the light turns green, the lorry revs up and races to the next
>       light.
>
>       When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the lorry, and  
>runs
>       back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it,
>he
>       says "Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm driving a f*****g gritter!"
>
>>>Subject: FW: who's the boss
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
>>>
>>>As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his
>>>trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."
>>>
>>>She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
>>>
>>>"I can't wear your trousers." she said.
>>>
>>>"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the
>>>man who wears the pants in this family."
>>>
>>>With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
>>>
>>>He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his
>>>kneecaps.
>>>
>>>"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
>>>She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until
>>>your attitude changes."
>>>
>>>Subject: FW: snappy answers
>>>
>>>
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >Snappy Answer #1
>>> >
>>> >A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
>>> >gate to check tickets.
>>> >As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
>>> >ticket and he opened his
>>> >trench coat and flashed her.
>>> >
>>> >Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see
>>> >your ticket, not your
>>> >stub."
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >  S nappy Answer #2
>>> >
>>> >A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
>>> >grocery store, but
>>> >couldn't find one big enough for her family.
>>> >She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any
>>> >bigger?"
>>> >
>>> >The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >Snappy Answer #3
>>> >
>>> >The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
>>> >stopped for speeding rolled
>>> >down his window.
>>> >"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>>> >
>>> >The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
>>> >could."
>>> >
>>> >When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the
>>> >kid on his way without a
>>> >ticket.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >Snappy Answer #4
>>> >
>>> >A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
>>> >sign comes up that reads
>>> >"Low Bridge Ahead."
>>> >Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him
>>> >and he gets stuck under
>>> >the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a
>>> >police car comes up.
>>> >The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the
>>> >truck driver, puts his
>>> >hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>>> >
>>> >The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this
>>> >bridge and I ran out of
>>> >gas."
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >Snappy Answer #5
>>> >
>>> >A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A
>>> >single agent was rebooking
>>> >a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an
>>> >angry passenger pushed
>>> >his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on
>>> >the counter and said, "I
>>> >HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be "FIRST
>>> >CLASS."
>>> >
>>> >The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to
>>> >try to help you, but
>>> >I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure
>>> >we'll be able to work
>>> >something out."
>>> >
>>> >The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so
>>> >that the passengers
>>> >behind him could hear,
>>> >"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
>>> >
>>> >Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her
>>> >public address
>>> >microphone.
>>> >"May I have your attention please," she began, her
>>> >voice heard clearly
>>> >throughout the terminal.
>>> >"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 who does not
>>> >know who he is".
>>> >"If anyone can help him find his identity, please
>>> >come to Gate 14".
>>> >
>>> >With the folks behind him in line laughing
>>> >hysterically, the man glared at
>>> >the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F***
>>> >you!"
>>> >
>>> >Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry,
>>> >sir, but you'll have to
>>> >get in line for that, too."
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >And the VERY BEST snappy answer ....
>>> >
>>> >Snappy Answer #6
>>> >
>>> >THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
>>> >
>>> >A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
>>> >final exam. "Now class, I
>>> >won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
>>> >tomorrow. I might consider
>>> >a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
>>> >illness, or a death in your
>>> >immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
>>> >whatsoever!"
>>> >
>>> >A smart-a*s guy in the back of the room raises his
>>> >hand and asks, "What
>>> >would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
>>> >from complete and utter
>>> >sexual exhaustion?"
>>> >
>>> >The entire class does its best to stifle their
>>> >laughter and snickering.
>>> >When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
>>> >sympathetically at the student,
>>> >shakes her head, and sweetly says,"Well, I guess
>>> >you'd have to write the
>>> >exam with your other hand."
>>>
>>>

[jamieg]

Hahahahaha  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Another good supply of jokes from our man halfloaf

[JDMEp2]

very nice collection halfloaf :lol:

[sumba]

hahaha...nice jokes!!

[Naitsirk]

hehe lol

[rerr7h1y]

,jordan shoes
    One feeling too falsely disdain'd
    The devotion to something afar
 
 
    Of the night for the morrow
 
 
 
 
    The worship the heart lifts above
    The desire of the moth for the star
    For thee to disdain it.
    But wilt thou accept not
    From the sphere of our sorrow？
    Than that from another.
    For me to profane it
 
 
 
 
 
    For prudence to smother
    I can give not what men call love,supra；
 
    And the Heavens reject not：
ONE word is too often profaned
 
    One hope is too like despair
    And pity from thee more dear
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   a psychiatrist in Shanghai.

[sjiehgsji]

谈谈你对外商投资的看法(Foreign Investment),burberry
 1．外商投资的优越性
 2．外资给中国经济建设带来的变化
 3．如何进一步吸引外资
 The merit of foreign investments 1ies in many aspects,louis vuitton。It increases capital investment in our economic construction,相关的主题文章：
 
 
   China CITIC Bank to join hands IPS shaping the ser
 
 
 One afternoon,the teacher took us to the Chemistry lab. There he taught us the first lesson in chemistry. ,burberry soldes, speeds up the technical innovation in our enterprises and accelerates our output.  In brief,dolce and gabbana, the foreign investment Plays an important m1e in the modernization of our country. 
 Thanks to the foreign investment,ralph lauren outlet, great changes have taken place in our economic construction.  Many new and advanced enterprises have been set up,louboutin pas cher,相关的主题文章：
 
 
   我的寒假打算 My Winter Holiday Plans
 
 
 One afternoon,the teacher took us to the Chemistry lab. There he taught us the first lesson in chemistry. , old enterprises have been revolutionized and the living standards of our Peop1e have been great1y improved.  All these have something to do with the foreign investment. 
 Then,louboutin,相关的主题文章：
 
 
   Shao Xiaofeng, Alipay  Online payments will do eve
 
 
 One afternoon,the teacher took us to the Chemistry lab. There he taught us the first lesson in chemistry. , how can we attract more foreign investment? We must maintain our country’s stability to create a good investment environment.  Meanwhile we should carry out some favorable policies,sac louis vuitton, making the foreign businessmen believe that to invest in China does pay off.  Only in this way can we further attract and secure foreign investment.

[mdfefewe]

After killing the local tyrant Zhen Guanxi, for fear of being jailed,burberry, Lu Zhishen fled to Mount Wutai where he stayed in a temple as a monk. After breaking the temple rules by drinking, he was sent by the abbot（大寺院男住持） to the Monastery of Great Assistance to State,louboutin, where he was put in charge of a vegetable garden. The property had been plagued（困扰,michael kors，折磨） by a band of local hooligans（小流氓） who frequently came to steal. None of the previous watchmen could stop the theft. Now, on hearing that a new watchman had been employed,supra shoes, the hooligans came again,dolce gabbana, only to be welcomed by a good beating: the two leaders were kicked into a manure（肥料，粪池） pit and the rest dropped to their knees and kowtowed（叩头） for mercy.
 
 
The next day they came again,franklin marshall, but this time to apologize with wine and food. While they were enjoying the food,air jordan, crows up in a tree cackled（咯咯叫） nonstop. A bad omen（预兆） ,air jordan, to destroy the bird nest,christian louboutin, when Lu Zhishen stopped them. He sized up the tree and said,louboutin pas cher, "No need for the trouble." He stripped off his coat,michael kors outlet, bent down and grasped the trunk. Then he yanked（猛地一拉） the tree right out of the ground. The hooligans gasped in disbelief and went down on their knees and begged Lu to teach them martial arts.
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   film extra etc.
 
   impact of the appreciation in 2010
 
   不要做太多的抗争
 
 
motion the same day by 30 votes to 28 votes in the Senate by the Proponents , including the five Greens MP has checks and balances , a Family First Party members and one independent Members .

[btgsgdfsgh]

LHASA - A major water control project in Southwest China's Tibet autonomous region on Wednesday blocked the river stream,sac louis vuitton, marking the commencement of the dam's main construction.Pondo Water Control Project,michael kors, the largest in Tibet,christian louboutin, is located in Lhunzhub County,ralph lauren, and dammed the Lhasa River at 10:30 am on Wednesday,ralph lauren pas cher, said Kelsang Tsering,polo ralph lauren, vice-chairman of the regional government.Comprised of a reservoir and a power station,michael kors outlet, the project is designed to irrigate 435.2 square kilometers and generate 599 million kilowatt hours of electricity annually.The project is expected to start operation in 2013.
 Tibet's largest water project completes damming
 (Tianshannet) Updated: 2011-October-27 16:12:22
 
 
 (SOURCES:Xinhua)Editor: zhaoqian
Pondo Water Control Project blocks the river stream in Tibet autonomous region,louis vuitton, Oct 26,supra shoes, 2011.(Xinhua Photo)
 [1] [2] Next End
 
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   HONG KONG
 
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   proposed earlier this year by Zhang Yu
 
 
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